Some asshat from Delaware thought it'd be funny to hack my iCloud. So I have a message for Mr Funny Man. If you're reading this: you do not get to pass go; you do not collect $200; when you die you will go directly to the feral, rotten mouth of hell where you will writhe and fester for all eternity while I stand beyond the plexiglass with my snow caps and buttered popcorn enjoying your suffering on the brink of my own personal ecstasy. Karma is an ferocious b*tch and I will be mounting her as one would an electric bull as she endlessly ricochets you from one unimaginable level of hellish torture to another. So I hope you enjoy those blurry photos of the inside of my pocket, you twat.
If you'll allow me, I have to admit that to be left destitute without any of my passwords or files made me feel like a veritable Julian Assange type for a while there- a man rejected, without identity, *sans* Apple ID. And to top it off I had been watching the same three episodes of the Wonder Years (great show) waiting for that gaggle of mental giants over at Apple to throw me a bone. What a joke that was. They completely bricked me from my account, accusing me of impersonating a deceased person. I mean, are they fucking nuts? I AM dead. I'm in the f-cking astral plane. They should be so lucky as to have me as a customer and frankly, in awe that an entity from the outer reaches of consciousness would stoop so low as to mettle about with their spiritual-black-hole of a device. Sometimes I just can't believe the way we live now. These big corpos telling me who I am and am not. In the '70s you could write your name, age and address on the back of a casino napkin and use it fly to Mexico with a kilo of cocaine. Things were a LOT different then. Disco never made a comeback, but shag haircuts did. And after experiences like this that does start to feel a bit like a shame.
But after every dark night a new sun rises. And I must admit, I'm an imperishable optimist. I'm thrilled to be back and feel fresh and (dare I say) ALIVE after this long digital break. And before you start prying I'll just come out and say it-- it's true: I'm an android guy now. (And It's not as bad as you'd think!) I'm just happy to be back on the grid after this long, unplanned hiatus. And you know what? I find that I am using my phone a lot less -- which is a good thing, for me. More time for tinkering with the site and getting the highly requested GUEST BOOK up and running!